Current Single Life

                                             Current Single Life 

The current single life for many are different , with that we all get many different actions , different experiences.

For many it can be very depressing,lonely,very emotionally painful from with in us all to start.

And over time it gets more then aggravating , annoying,very emotionally depressing in the sense that 

we all feel at different parts of of our lives as if there is some thing making us feel lower then low to the points of feeling as if we are either unattractive,not very important to many if any at all.

It basically makes many want to end their lives first by saying that they do not want to live anymore or that they want to die in their sleep , never wake up at all, where many of us say out loud but mostly to ourselves where noone else can hear , at times when we are by ourselves.

Then when we get the opportunity or chance to get to know another person we do not always get to go any further then just meet , talk with the person only that one time,I know that particular aspect is not very helpful when we seem to be at ease with emotionally to start.

But there are times where we do get to actually meet with the person be that a man or woman outside of the meeting place wherever that may have been be that on a bus or work place or on a lunch break or while food shopping or even while hanging out with a friend or friends or sitting , reading a good book or writing or doing so art work such as sketching a picture.

Going to bars , night clubs are not the right places to go to meet , hook up , build a stable logical 

relationship with the other.

It is better to stay clear of that surrounding in the sense of meeting , going with the other person in the sense of a real stable , emotionally logical relationship.

What is to  have found that many of the first things that were said in this blog but not the bar , night club part .

When you do find a person do not use the generalization that he or she is the one for you it takes many years for that to be shown v.s. being said.

The reason that is so is simply because if you say that then at any point with in the relationship you find out that he or she cheated on you , hid it from you , lied to you about it , the real truth of what was lied to you about , hidden from you about the person is said by another person even if you do not want to hear it , believe it , if it gradually rings true that can be very emotionally , drastically painful in all logic , physiological realizations with also knowing that you said that he or she is the one for you  that makes it hurt even deeper then many of us realize til it actually happens.

In order to have a stable , longer lasting relationship with one another be that a man , a woman one must be more then totally honest, respectful , faithful , devoted to , with each other to start, if either side does anything wrong to the other in the sense of  cheating ./ adultery or do any thing in physical harm to the other or do anything that is also wrong , not logical , not the right thing to do to anyone , not tell the one that your going with with all honesty you need to be prepared to receive any emotional reaction that you will get thus if it becomes to be another physical reaction against you - It is better to tell the one that you are in the relationship with , with that it will show yourself , the other person that you are again in the relationship with 

as well , with that it is logical for the other person to give you the same respect , honesty on things like that to start.

Men 

When you are about to start a relationship with a woman you must be honest , forthcoming to , with a woman , honest , respectful to , with a woman if you want her to be that way to , for you , you can not be acting as if you are still available to other women when in actuality when you are truly in a actual relationship with another woman, that includes do not cheat / commit adultery & never hide things from the woman that you are going with , are in a relationship with , that includes with if you have any medical , physical thing that is thing that you have with in you that is personal such as any diseases like AIDS , HIV , VD , etc, things like Muscular dystrophy or any other physical , mental things that you may have also you must be honest , truthful with her on , about that if you want her to do the same thing , give you he same respect , honesty to , with you on any thing , that includes the type of job that you have , are employed in at that current point , time , your current living situation as well, if you are truly single or married or in a relationship.

And you must not hide the fact if you have any criminal record of any sort , type , for what ever the reason is or maybe, you can not do any physical harm to her or any other person even in her family , your family , any other persons family.

Women

Simply put , short that you must do the same as it is said for the woman that the men should do that you should do for the man.

In addition

It is said , known that for a long while the male gender has cheated , done many things wrong to a woman but since the 1990's - Women have done the same to many men as if it was a generational payback to the male gender for doing the wrong things to the female gender.

Though it is said by many women that the female gender is smarter then the male gender.

That is not factual at all because we all have our own type , level of intelligence.

Plus 

It does not show that the female gender is smarter if the female gender cheats on the male gender while in a relationship with a man , if the woman does any other thing that is wrong to , against the male.

For both Male & Female
Gender revenge against another gender be that cheating / Adultery , etc - Is not a way to make things better or even , in short of this it really does not solve a thing no matter what the reasons that any gender can try to come up with , say in the sense of an excuse it makes things worse both emotionally , psychologically , logically & realistically plus it is an easy way to pass on diseases no matter what gender does it plus the same virus or disease stays with you even as it effects the other gender. 

  All this , more is more then factual if one or both want to , are intending to marry , spend , share each others lives with each other in marriage , that being a life long relationship , marriage without any doubts , any hold backs , if there is any doubts or hold  backs both emotional & physiological then two things need to happen to start.

One: 

You will need to put the wedding on hold til there is  no emotional , physiological

doubts , hold backs of any sort , any reasons , any level.

That is meaning to spend more time with one another to where you both get to know one another more.

Two:

You must go into whats known as couples counseling, resolve any doubts, hold backs , any other emotional quirks , any other thing that their might or may be even the uncertainty that either side or both side may have, even may not realize that they may have , even noticed with in them emotionally , more even if it is about themself or the other person or both them ,, the other person. 

If there is no resolving any issues, any emotional , physiological thing  that there is or might or may be for any reason , there is no reasoning to both sides are not only on the same page , level of understanding , more then it is more then sound logical advice to go your separate ways.

You may have to take time to spend with yourself more as you remain single to re- learn about yourself both physiologically, emotionally it may take a longer time to do so then you want to , may think it might take.

But if you take things a step at a time in gradual physiological emotional steps , remain patient as you do this.

As you do this you may find the many things about , with in you that you may not have realized , known with in , about yourself , that will lead to what you want in a person even while in a relationship , marriage  , what you want for you , in your life , more.

That realistically needs to be done way before you go out in the metaphorical dating field...

Do note:

This goes for both ( Women & Men ) -Equally... 

That it is better to meet a person in person , not on a website / online because you do not truly know the type of person that your really , truly talking with as you get to know them no matter if you do web cam chat with them or just photo to photo , chat room , person to person chat.

Though you have a better chance in knowing the person in person face to face , plus in many ways it is much safer to meet , get to know the person in person face to face.

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For the writer of this blog I can simply say that being single myself I have personally dealt with may of the very things were said in this blog , none of it has worked for me in this current year of 2015 - But it might work better for others .

I have yet to find a thing that will work for me but I can say with that the bus meeting a woman thing , the many other things did work for me for a time but now not so much if at all.

I am a man that has helped many in many situations both emotional , physiological, at tomes just emotional.

I am also an Advocate both regular , Humanitarian & I know phycology in every level , minor, I know many other things bot in medical , many many many other things & with that I have saved an old friends life from being hit by a ( U- Haul Truck ) I am surprised that not one woman wants to know more of , about me to where she would have more then interest in wanting to be with me for who , how I am to start as many want for themselves both males , females...

I do wonder when that will happen for me , I have prayed about it as well but I do have faith that a woman that I am to be with even in marriage will come to me , to her I will come to her.  

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                                                           Example of:
                           The positive relationship that lasts longer even in marriage 

                                     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG7yftp3e9o

For those that are single & more

 

 

                                           Single People

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Being single can be seen in many ways starting with where one can spend time with themselves & get to know them, what they like , want , more.
But when it comes to wanting companionship with:
For Women - With a man
For Men - With a woman  

There is two sayings when it comes to that, many do know them , what they are :
If you look for him or her that you will find him or her 
                        And 
If you do not look he or she will come to you when you do not expect them to.

This writer is experimenting with both of them,in the past this writer has found that the first one works at times , the second one works at other times.

But also when we do not expect it to it more then tends to sway back,forth where the second one works first then the first saying works at other times,what this writer has found currently is that  the very sayings will tend to or more then so to stay in the middle til either one decides to play out, that can be very depressing to some,aggravating to others & with that it can play out at the same time where one person be that male or female will experience that both are playing out where the one that they were waiting  for when they were not searching comes to them,the one that they were searching for also comes to them.

And that is more then rare if not unheard of as well but it does happen , at times it can happen when we do not expect it to,even realize it does happen,has happened.

When that happens we are surprised I am sure but with that we must always be honest to,with ourselves,to,with others as well.

This writer knows that when it comes to men that many women believe,say that if a man got the chance to be with more then one woman that the guy would not pass it up but in actual reality even the male needs to be honest with himself as the woman has to be honest with herself as well so in all both genders are also equal on that as well as many other things.
     
   
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Though there are those that go for the same gender in what in many religions is seen as a sin   - In more ways then one .
It even states it in the Bible that it is a sin to be with the same gender in a romantic involvement even sexually , not only spiritually but also morally.

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But those same people are plainly ignoring the Bibles saying on that , going on with the spiritual , mortal sin  - And many have 
stated that( If God loves us he will accept us , our choices of who , what we ant to be with in marriage- as a life partner even if it is the same gender...) - The fact is that Heavenly Father
dose love us all but we must follow the word of 
Heavenly Father - & His teachings , the commandments or we will not be able to be with him when it is our time to return to him.

 What they do not realize is that we all were once with 
Heavenly Father- but we never really saw him as he is , with that our spiritual bodies did choose to follow his word , teachings,his commandments in why many of us are on this planet the way we are , of who we are.

But it is those that are going to the extent as human beings,as children of Heavenly Father - In the mortal bodies that 
we are all in they are going more then totally against the  words,teachings,commandments but may following the commandment of > Love thy Mother & thy Father - But are also going the teachings , words & commandments on the other basis that there are.


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Outside of that for those that are straight, want to companionship it seems to many if not all to be very difficult.
to find even now a days, with that I am sure that even several years before it was just if not equally as hard to find the right person for each of us of who we find to be compatible if not more so then that.

And with that many believe in the sense of what many women say , believe that when they do find the right man for them that they often find out at some point that they are not good enough for the man when they find the man with another woman in bed or in other ways.

Though now a days there are many men saying the same about 
women when  the guy finds the woman in the same,at times different instances then when a woman finds a man in.

It did take a number of years to hear women to admit that there
are those women that are not as trust worthy either.

In what means of course that we are all equally at fault.

So if we really are to be happy with the ones that we both want
to be with we must be sure not only with in us,with in our hearts but also with in the souls of all of us,with that comes that we must be sure that we will want only that one person that 
we choose to be with is,will forever be the one , where we will not stray from that decision/ choice,it does not hurt to pray about it in what this writer is sure that there are many that do that just so that they can know not only with in themselves, with their hearts,more but also spiritually.

And even if you are not religious you can still pray to find some comfort as well as an answer, more as well.

Do Note: That goes for both Men & women equally...

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If we all can do that then we will find ourselves in longer lasting happiness,longer lasting relationships & marriage.

Though it is said that over time or any number of years that 
our needs , wants change but that can be easily rectified/ dealt with, handled if we work together in relationship's,in a positive emotional way , with that as long as we truly love one another, that also goes for many that are still in relationships,marriages as well as for those that are looking for what is known as> Mister Right - & - Miss Right -- ...

And also it goes equally for those that are in relationships that are new,marriages that are new, with that as well it does not matter if you were married before or for the first time it still plays out the same either way no matter what.

What we all do with our lives,with those tat we are with,are dating or in relationships,or married to does reflect on our youth even of today in what will be at times repeated but not always in the same way as it was when the youth of today was at a young age,yet not many realize that as a fact,reality as well til it is shown or played out when the child is at the age of adult or younger,in a relationships of their own.

And when that happens they often wonder why their child is that way, more then tend to forget of what they did, what happened in front of the child when they were at a very young age.

Not too many think back or reflect again on what caused that to be,yet those that do are not always able to do a thing about it if anything at all,even those that do try to do some thing about it do not always succeed in doing it fully or the right way,even when,if their hearts are in the right place or if they mean well in the sense of caring,love in what many parents have for their children when they want to help them in any way they can to where neither side is negatively effected emotionally,physiologically...


Many believe that it is better to allow it to play out the way it is supposed to play out,what they do not realize by doing that they are not showing the child any consideration or care if they do not at most help them through it as it plays out , if they do help them out even with advice.

Because when,if the parent gets too involved they run the risk of making it worse,not better,it can make the child feel that 
they can not deal with it on their own to the points of feeling incapable of being able to take care of it on their own.
That is another thing we as parents do not want to have reflected on the child at all.

If we do too involved then what will happen when we are no longer around the child will more then tend to rely on others to get involved in their situations/issues , that is not healthy , it is not the right thing to have happen we need to be able to teach , show the child that we have faith,belief in their abilities to be able to handle things on their own in a positive way,manor.

If we do not do that not only will the child have a hard time dealing with things on their own even when they are in a relationship but many will wonder how they were raised / brought up,judge the way that very thing in a negative way as well.  

That is one of many things we do not want to have happen because it can be a bad reflection on the child as an adult , even before adulthood,many have seen what is a bad reflection on the child is,can be seen as a bad reflection on the parents as well,more then an often occurrence the same cycle is repeated , played out even in different ways,that is one of many things we do not want to have happen no matter what.
    
Even before the cycle is repeated it can get more difficult for the child to be in any future relationships when,if the first, or second one failed for any number of reasons.

This is what many parents both married or divorced,newly single, widowed really need to know as well do the single adults at any age even with or with out children& even those who have not been in a relationship before,for those in a relationship for the first time,for those that have been in any number of relationships do need to know this as well.

When all things are done in the proper manner,way both emotionally,physiologically,morally,spiritually - As well as legally then there will not be any negative cycle replaying in any way at all.



And we all know that is what we want to have happen,when it does 
it will reflect in a positive way , light to our children         ,cousins, nephews , many others as well.

If you have any questions or need advice or both please let the writer know. 
  
   
    

    

 

Finding the one

Who do we really fit with what we are looking for?

In finding out what, who we are looking for , who we are looking for , what we want in that one that we are looking for we must start to make sure that we are truly ready for a relationship.

And for those of us that  have been through many relationships that have gone down hill for any number of reasons starting with betrayal or any type of heart break , cheating , any other thing that has gone to where the ones that once were two are now back to one. 

 With that it takes many of us a while if not more then that to recoup , reassess many things with in us starting with the many  emotional things with in us then we gradually rebuild ourselves up from with in , as we do that we add in the emotions that have been repaired with in us , then confidence ,belief with in us , I know that we eventually gain back the basic understanding of many things that we knew on many things that we have known even before the negative emotions have clouded that of what we knew , still know.

That process in it self does take some people longer to go through the entire thing.

Those that do not realize that you must know that of what was said is true , it is a normal thing in many who do take longer to recoup or recover from the emotional heart breaks , more that they have seen done to them while in a relationship with another. 

When we all do  get over the heart break or betrayal , more we all do at times require more time to,with ourselves to make sure that we are wanting the same thing that we once wanted the first number of times , even at the very first time we ever dated.  

 We often find that we add more to what we once wanted , still want in what is still in place with in us emotionally to start as well as morally , spiritually but with that part I know not all look at it that far but none the less it does happen , as we get older we get to know that fact of it not only by realizing it or even noticing it.

Many do have the things that are emotionally negative to them are married , eventually get divorced , at times they first separate from one another but it practically more then often end up divorced though I know while going in to a marriage we often think that no negative emotional thing will ever happen to them though when it does it blows them back emotionally when the negative emotional thing does happen to them so in all we all would have to be prepared for many things that we do not want to see happen to us no matter what it is , why , more.

 Even with that many do wonder why in this country the divorce rate is high even those that commit the wrong doing do also wonder why but also think that they will not be divorced even before,after they do the sinful act of cheating behind the back of the ones that they are with be that in a serious relationship or married to.

And with that fact many at times many have been heard by many people starting with their own family as well as friends of theirs but eventually end up married again.

Though what also causes the general separation , fear of many relationships to start up is the common misconceptions on,about both genders being of course males,females.

But that is very understandable for those that have gone through many negative emotional things but it does also effect those that would not , have not done any of the negative emotional things that many of the same gender have done to the other , at times that have been done to those that would not, again have not done to the other even though it was or has been done to them.

So in finding another that may or may not feel or seem suitable or in other terms being a perfect fit does seem to get more , more difficult day by day ,month by month & year by year even with that of what is said that is negative about both genders.

 

But no matter how difficult that it may be at any give time or point it is better to take ones time even as you get to know any person that being any man or woman even if they claim that they are really ready , even if you feel that you are really ready it does not hurt to look with in yourself from time to time to see , really feel if you are , do not worry doing that is also normal to do as well though by doing that it is found easier to do that when you have time to yourself v.s. being around many people while doing so.

How this writer knows this is not due to the fact that of what has been said in this blog is not because of this writers status it is simply that this writer has seen many of what was said in this blog , also has witnessed it as well , also has been through a small number of those, has seen the many others happen to many of others , at times the same thing that has happened to the writer of this blog also has happened to many others as well that is more then self aware to this writer but so is the general fact , reality that it has become worse for others then it was,or has been for this writer.

What this writers relationship status is at current is not the issue or topic but this writer does care about every person even those that have been hurt emotionally ,physiologically , the writer helped through the emotional pain that they have had , this writer will continue to help those through it no matter what.

It may seem difficult but no one person knows whats right for any person in reality the only one that is single , knows from with in them of what , who they want but at the same time they can not stay hung on to one for too long because that can not only make them feel unwanted,not attractive enough or any other basis with that all depending on the gender.

It can also turn many other possible people that show interests in you or who ever else it can also make one go in to deep depression.

That is one of many things that we do not want to have , let happen to any one of us no matter what. 

It is understandable that you or who ever may have more of an interest in the one that you or again who ever has on , towards that one person who ever that man or woman may be at any given point,time but if you can see that the one person that you are hung up on even emotionally is keeping his or her main focus on  another then it should tell you or any other person that the person that they are again hung up on is not that interested in them if they were then they would focus on you or who ever else it would be , the other person if at all at that point but if that is not the case then it would be logical to move on to see if you or who ever can find one that wants to be with you , only you , one of many ways that can be shown is that the person focuses on you even if there is another that may want to be with the person.

That is one of many ways that can show that you are their main focus,that they want to know you , want to be with you to start with.  

At the same time make sure that the person that you or who ever it may be is more then sure that they feel the same way as they do about you to start, with that try , picture your life with them,see how clear,comfortable emotionally to start that is to you & if that is a comfortable , positive viewing of the time ahead as you would be able to see it at first then you would want to talk with the person more , that in it self is normal but if at any point,time the view changes even while talking with the person then you can either stop talking with him or her or see if at any point the person change's so that the images with the person is positive emotionally to start but if it repeats to be negative then you would want to stop talking with him or her at that point or at the next encounter, keep searching for the one , as you do that stay emotionally positive with in yourself , in thought, you may find that the one woman or man will come you way when you least expect it to happen.

The reason I say that is simple if we keep expecting that of what I said in where a person comes to you its like the old saying in what is: A watched pot never whistles or for some people may see it as that a watched pot never boils.

And even when one is in search for a soul mate that saying still rings true even in that situation as it does with , in many other situations,more.

     

 

   If you in who is reading this blog has any questions on or about any of what has been said in this blog to start or if he or she needs any advice please do ask in the comment part of this blog. 

 

Links to to other other relationship blogs below here  

  Common Misconception's blog

http://www.societyreality.blogspot.com

     Relationships & More blog 

 http://www.societyreality.blogspot.com/2012/09/relationships-more.html